Redefining the Rules: How to Have Lasting Love in the Modern Age
- September 5, 2015
- Posted by: Jen Rode
- Category: Relationships,
Every day lately I wake up feeling like a different person, and so does my husband Ben. I’m curious to hear who else is experiencing this in your life, and how is it affecting you?
For me, my relationship, family, and business are evolving rapidly, and I’m trying to catch up energetically, emotionally, and physically to all of the mind-blowing awesomeness we’ve been blessed to create in the past few years.
Last night, we held our monthly event in San Diego and I was overcome with a combination of excitement, sadness, and anxiety before the event. Some of the emotion belonged to me, some of it was the collective, and I’m not sure what the rest of it was. It doesn’t matter. I just needed it out of my body.
So Ben, my amazingly supportive husband, did an impromptu Explosive Sexual Healing session with me, and I cried and cried and we laughed together at the ridiculousness of the silly voice in my head that still reminds me that I’m a human being in a body.
I’m grateful for our beautiful children, our supportive team, our soul family friends. I’m grateful to have the freedom to do what I love and make a wonderful living doing it.
And I’m most grateful for the relationship I have with Ben. Every day I ask myself, how do we continue to create Lasting Love in our modern age of constant evolution, transition, and transformation?
I’m always asking the question, and the question itself is continually morphing. Ben and I are constantly staying curious and seeking new ways to court one another, to flirt, to go deeper. We are always seeking out the blocks and probing each other to play bigger. This is a question of ongoing intrigue for me…
What I’m sure of is that the old way of doing things is no longer working. We need to throw out the old rules and start from scratch.
When Ben and I met, we both had mastered the traditional dating rules, and we were bored with the game. We were yearning for more depth, more intimacy, and more connection on physical, mental, and emotional levels than we’d experienced in previous relationships. We were starving to be truly met and authentically partnered in spiritual growth. We were looking for someone to challenge us to grow and to hold us to our higher selves, even though we didn’t know what that meant at the time.
So we decided to do something Revolutionary. We dropped the dating game and the roles. Ben and I married 30 days after meeting. The decision to marry was instantaneous for both of us… We both had a powerful knowing that this was the One.
We were vulnerable, truthful, direct, straightforward and honest. We let each other see not just the “good” parts, but the ugly, the wounded, the emotional. We put all of our cards on the table. We said what we wanted.
I told him I wanted marriage and kids. He told me he knew I was the one. We told one another everything about our previous relationships and our wounds. We didn’t hold back.
Sometimes the level of intimacy and vulnerability felt overwhelming. For the first few months, we frequently disagreed passionately and triggered one another.
Letting someone truly see all of me was simultaneously the hardest and most rewarding choice I’ve ever made. It involved my unwavering trust of myself, my deep commitment to working through the hard stuff, and surrendering to my higher self.
Breaking the traditional rules of dating changed my life forever.
Ben and I wouldn’t be together today if we hadn’t pushed through and tried something new. It wasn’t easy, but we knew we needed to do it differently.
Who else is experiencing a need to let go of the old rules? Who else is longing for a new type of relationship? Who else is making it up day by day, moment by moment?
I believe we are here to master reality creation in the 3D, to expand our capacity to love, and to connect with our higher selves so powerfully that we impact those around us positively and profoundly.
I believe we are rewriting this now, together, from nothing.
What do you think?
With love and gratitude,